A Simple Satire Regarding the Community’s Degeneracy

AURORA, CPOAL Headquarters- As we have entered a new age of armies, the Good, the Bad, and the Degenerate come along with it. Here at CPOAL, we are dedicated to pointing them out to you for pure entertainment. Read on for more as we “discuss” them in this first edition of CPOAL Satire.

Club Penguin Armies, once described by 6789cool as “autistic” in his video “Autism in Club Penguin Armies” is now a treasured video for all CP armies that we all admire. Here at CPOAL, we act stupid from time to time and I, Xing, am here to expose this.

First, the “drama” in this community, if you can even call it drama. I see this community as a bunch of 12-22-year-olds arguing over who got the bigger sizes on a close-to-dead MMORPG game revived by its fans. If you look at the main chat of our “unique” community, you’ll often see kids or “manlets” arguing over this on a kiddy penguin game. Although many of these chats end up purged because of their stupidity and flood of idiots on a CPA high, here is what a typical argument would start out like:

As you can see, we have a bunch of what appears to be smooth-brain “Club Penguiners” from the army named after a chip that tastes like flavored cardboard. Now, as shown above, these kids are very, and I mean very, passionate about their penguins. So when some other smooth-brain penguins, AKA “Ice Cubes with guitars” come to insult them you bet these kids will turn into Spicy Doritos when they lose to ice cubes.

Second, we have internal army drama. Most notably, the Doritos. If I may put this bluntly, they may as well have the worst staff among all armies to exist on CPO. If you’re a Doritos staff member, you may have an internal switch that tells you to leave Doritos every other week and then come back because “muh friends r der.” It seriously makes me ponder what is wrong within this army. It truly doesn’t make sense. First of all, you have people “exposing” big Musta on a group chat. After that, big Musta “exposes” them from the SAME group chat. Along with that, the “exposed” people who were “exposed” came back to Doritos only a couple days later. This ;eads me to believe that Doritos either have a severe bipolar disorder or they just do this for the shits and giggles. Nevertheless, the “tarditos” army is quite literally the laughingstock of this community because genuinely, there’s a meme that’s associated with them that pops up every other day.

Last, we have the small armies. My God, the meme-worthiness of the smaller armies. I love you small armies for being who you are. Clueless, not knowing how to count properly, and your stubbornness among armies makes me admire you for who you are. This small paragraph goes out to the degenerate small armies I love the most and their leaders. First, we have the Penguin Defense Force. Also known as the army that was revived God knows how many times in a week by summit. Second, we have the Miners. I admire their leader for multi-logging the hell out of his own army without being called out for it. Even I couldn’t do that in 2015, sadly. Now last, we have the inactive small armies. You’re a waste of space, delete your discord.

In the end, we fill this community with Good People, Bad People, and Degenerate People and there’s no getting around it. After all, it takes 3 types of people to make this community “unique.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

Do you believe that CPO Armies have more than enough Delusional and Degenerate people? Can we trust the Spicy Doritos and Ice Cubes to keep mild when any slander is slung their way? And will we ever understand why the righteous people associate with all the degenerates? Comment YOUR opinions below.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Xing

CPO Army League Reporter

PINK

CPO Army League Staff Support

 

Advertisement